The Golden Calf, Kashrut, and You

The mitzvah not to boil a kid in its mother’s milk appears three times in the Torah – and from this, the rabbis derive that one is prohibited not to eat milk with meat, not to cook them together, and not to benefit from the mixture. One of the times the commandment is given occurs shortly after Moses goes up the mountain a second time with a second set of tablets and G!d reveals the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy and Moses is only allowed to see G!d’s backside (or the knot at the back of the tefillin G!d wears on the head according to midrash). (This appears in Exodus 34, with the commandment about boiling the kid in its mother’s milk in verse 26.) These events occur after the sin of the golden calf.

I believe this mitzvah and the incident of the golden calf are related.

The golden calf bears no actual resemblance to a real calf. Having grown up in small towns and rural areas, I encountered cows and their calves. They are smelly, they are stubborn, and they don’t care where they go to the bathroom. They are not perfect. We keep them to serve our needs, but they live their own lives and don’t really care about our wellbeing apart from our role in feeding them and giving them shelter.

The idol of the golden calf, in contrast, is an idealized perfect image of a calf that bears no actual resemblance to a real calf. Aaron tells the people, “This is your god, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt!” (Exodus 32:8) Not only is this false – the one living G!d actually brought them up – thus creating an idol in place of G!d – but it distorts the relationship to the calf, attributing to it a miracle it did not do – but also making the calf exist only in relationship to the people, only existing to meet our needs, erasing its existence as a being independent of humans with its own life. The idol is a false image of both G!d and the calf.

I would like to suggest that one reason this commandment against boiling the kid in its mother’s milk, which is seen by rabbinic Judaism as a prohibition against mixing meat and milk of any kind, is to give us a constant reminder to recognize that the animals we use for food are creatures independent of us – the calf or kid has a relationship with its mother – and that we must be grateful to it and to G!d, recognizing we are not the center of a universe that revolves around us. Even vegans can use this mitzvah to recall that the plants, too, have existence separate from us, creatures in their own right.

May we merit to remember at every meal that G!d is G!d, we are creatures, and we share that trait with all living beings apart from G!d who have ever existed, who exist now, or ever will exist.

Sarah's Paradox

Sarah hated Hagar and sent her away both when she was pregnant with Yishmael and when Yishmael laughed/played at Yitzchok's weaning - Yitzchok being Sarah's son.

But the gematria (mathematical value of the letters) of Hagar is 208 - and the gematria of Yitzchok is . . . also 208.

So what she hated and rejected in Hagar came to her as Yitzchok and she loved him - but he was taken away from her as well through the Akedah - or so she thought - and she died.

Perhaps had she loved and embraced Hagar, she would not have lost Yitzchok.

The Essence of Geirus - Conversion to Judaism

Written in response to Judaism Unbound's new conversion program. 

I am a convert to Judaism. I think that the validity and legitimacy of any conversion program must be judged on six criteria – which are laid out in Ruth 1:16-17 – “whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God; where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried.” There is a standard interpretation in Yevamot 47b, which I don’t find compelling, so I will provide my own.

First – ALL of these tie the actions of the ger, the convert, to the people born Jewish – the actions of the ger MUST be conformed to those of the Jewish people. There is a place for individual expression in religious ritual – but conversion to Judaism is not that place. The only real individual expression in the geirut rituals is the choice of a Hebrew name – and even that must be within the limits of the canon of Jewish names.

As for each of the six requirements – 1. Going is the same root as halacha – a convert MUST take on the mitzvot – and, perhaps more centrally, the concept of commandedness and obligation – a Jew’s actions must be governed by G!d’s desires and instructions – different movements have different understandings of what are the content and interpretation of those mitzvot, which is fine – but one CANNOT do away with them and call what remains “Judaism” in any authentic way. 2. Lodging – one MUST remain in genuine community with Jews in a significant way. Judaism is not and cannot be a primarily solitary path. 3. Peoplehood – being Jewish is not just a religion, it’s a peoplehood – geirut is as much naturalization as it is conversion and one must take on Jewish peoplehood as at least one central aspect of one’s primary identity. 4. G!d – yeah, gonna make enemies here – there is much latitude in how one conceives of G!d – but Judaism without G!d is pointless and geirut that does not seek for the ger to be in new relationship with the Divine is not a real geirut. 5. Death – it’s a lifelong commitment and that’s why most conversion programs are – and should! – be lengthy and rigorous. (Full disclosure – mine was only four months – but it was also forty-two years from first synagogue visit (1981) until mikveh (2023), I majored in Judaic studies with a minor in Hebrew in the 80s (and attended my first RH & YK services and Pesach seder prior to the birth of my Orthodox sponsoring rabbi and two of the three beis din rabbis – the third being a toddler at the time), took many Jewish studies courses in divinity school (three with a Chasidic rebbe), and was a member of two synagogues for nearly three years before converting – so there is room for customizing the process – but one must be aware of the gravity of the commitment one makes. 6. Burial – one’s legacy after death must include one’s Jewish identity as central to one’s identity (to the extent that one can determine one’s posthumous legacy).

If your conversion process includes these six things, great, may you have much hatzlacha. If not, you need to return to the drawing board.