Chayei Sarah: Sarah's Double Heartbreak

Despite being named Chayei Sarah, the Life of Sarah, this week’s Torah portion begins with the death of Sarah. Apart from a brief genealogical note separating the two, her death occurs immediately after the Akedah, the Binding of Isaac, at the end of last week’s parashah. Because it states that Abraham returns to the young men, in Genesis 22:19, at the end of the account of the Akedah, with no mention of Isaac, the classic rabbinic interpretation is that Isaac did not return with Abraham, but left separately. The rabbis then teach that, when Sarah saw Abraham returning without Isaac, she assumes that the sacrifice was made, that Isaac is dead, and therefore dies from the heartbreak.

I believe that there is another level to her heartbreak. In Genesis 21, in a fit of anger, she sends Hagar and Abraham’s son Ishmael away. We read in Genesis 21:11 that this greatly distressed Abraham – literally, “the matter was evil in Abraham’s eyes” and the fact that G!d sided with Sarah surely did not diminish his distress.

I think that, when Sarah experienced the heartbreak of seemingly having lost Isaac, a heartbreak that led to her death, she also had the heartbreaking realization that she had done to Abraham what she perceived he had done to her in depriving him of the presence of his son. The profound guilt and realization that she had caused profound pain to her husband contributed to the heaviness that led to her death.

May we have the wisdom to reflect on our actions in cheshbon hanefesh, accounting of the soul, in such a way that we are able to repair the deep pain we cause others as we experience the deep pain caused by others’ actions.