Kiddushin daf 2 - Erusin/Betrothal to G!d

Learning the first daf of Kiddushin makes me uncomfortable, with the one-sided way that men have the power in the relationship and I’m not fond of the language of acquisition, comparing betrothing a woman to acquiring a field. I believe marriage should be conceived in egalitarian (and not strictly heteronormative) ways.

However, be that as it may, when I think of erusin, betrothal, I naturally think of Hosea 2:21-22:

וְאֵרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י לְעוֹלָ֑ם וְאֵרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִי֙ בְּצֶ֣דֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּ֔ט וּבְחֶ֖סֶד וּֽבְרַחֲמִֽים׃

And I will betroth thee unto Me for ever; Yea, I will betroth thee unto Me in righteousness, and in justice, And in lovingkindness, and in compassion.

וְאֵרַשְׂתִּ֥יךְ לִ֖י בֶּאֱמוּנָ֑ה וְיָדַ֖עַתְּ אֶת־יְהֹוָֽה׃ {פ}

And I will betroth thee unto Me in faithfulness; And thou shalt know the LORD.

These verses are said by adult Jews when wrapping tefillin and come from a passage where G!d is the speaker, saying G!d will betroth Israel to G!dself. By wrapping the strap of the tefillin around our finger, we imitate kiddushin (if not erusin, strictly speaking) with the giving of a ring. 

I wonder, given today’s daf, which of the three methods of acquisition G!d is using to betroth us, collectively as Israel and individually in our neshamos, to G!d.

Perhaps the tefillin strap is an item worth more than a pruta (if you’ve priced tefillin lately, you will know that it’s definitely worth more than a pruta!).

Perhaps the Torah is the shtar. There is a tradition that the Torah is the ketubah for kiddushin, which occurred on Shavuot. Maybe the texts written on the scrolls placed inside the tefillin are the shtar for erusin – and meditating on those – both loving G!d (v’ahavta) and living the life commanded (v’hayah im shamoa) are stipulated, and the other two look back to the redemption and exodus from Egypt (Kadesh li) and forward to coming into the land (v’hayah ki y’viacha).

But perhaps the strongest is biah – sexual intimacy – because it says that “you will know Hashem” – and the verb for “know” – in both Hebrew and English – can mean “know biblically.” 

How do each of these three ways of G!d betrothing us to G!dself resonate – or not – with you? How might thinking of this make you see your relationship with G!d differently?