I have had the experience, since conversion, when gathering the four tzitzis together at v’havienu l’shalom me-arba kanfot ha-aretz, of feeling like I was gathering the disparate parts of myself into one, like the One in whose image and likeness every human being was created, whose Oneness is proclaimed in the Shema shortly after. The Shalom into which these are gathered is the oneness/wholeness/peace of G!d.
Today, as I was davening, I had an additional thought building on this. First, perhaps the four tzitzis/corners of the earth are the four levels of the soul – nefesh, ruach, neshama, chaya – that are being gathered as one to unite with G!d in the yechidah, the fifth level of the soul in the Shema. I know the four levels of the soul correlate with the four parts of Shacharit – brachot/korbanot, psukei d/zimra, Shema, and Amidah. So maybe they are also being gathered together in preparation for the Amidah.
And since I see the Amidah as a roadmap for a spiritual journey toward wholeness, maybe there is something about this inner self-unity that needs to begin before we are ready for the Amidah, for this journey. Of course, this coming together is referenced again in the very middle blessing of the weekday Amidah – ve’kabtzenu yachad me-arba kanfot ha-aretz. And maybe the Shalom of Ahavat Rabbah and the Yachad of Mekabetz Nidchei Amo Yisrael are the same thing, perhaps on different levels.
I’m sure others have drawn similar conclusions – but it is to these realizations that this embodied experience of Jewish prayer leads me.
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