Thoughts on Masechet Chagigah

It might seem odd that I, raised evangelical and ordained in a liturgical Christian church, now find myself with daf yomi as one my principal and most meaningful spiritual practices - but that is where I find myself. Every now and then, I even find the Bat Kol whispering words of healing - tikkun - to my soul. There were many such moments in Chagigah - including the famous story of the four who went to Pardes, with one losing his life, another his sanity, another his faith, and only one emerging with all three intact - a story I first heard over three decades ago in college and which, along with the story of R Meir, R Beruriah, and her reading of the last verse of Tehillim 104, has influenced me profoundly - I have mentioned it many times in Christian settings! But perhaps the most healing moment learning it over the past few weeks was coming across this follow-up to that story - pointing to R Yochanan embodying the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy from Shemot 34 and the Thirteen Supernal Attributes of Mercy from Micah 7 (expounded beautifully in the first perek of Tomer Devorah) in ways we should all emulate: אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: גְּבוּרְתָּא לְמִיקְלֵי רַבֵּיהּ? חַד הֲוָה בֵּינַנָא וְלָא מָצֵינַן לְאַצּוֹלֵיהּ? אִינְקְטֵיהּ בְּיָד, מַאן מַרְמֵי לֵיהּ מִן. אָמַר: מָתַי אָמוּת, וַאֲכַבֶּה עָשָׁן מִקִּבְרוֹ. כִּי נָח נַפְשֵׁיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן פְּסַק קוּטְרָא מִקִּבְרֵיהּ דְּאַחֵר. פְּתַח עֲלֵיהּ הַהוּא סַפְדָנָא: אֲפִילּוּ שׁוֹמֵר הַפֶּתַח לֹא עָמַד לְפָנֶיךָ, רַבֵּינוּ!

Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Was this a mighty deed on Rabbi Meir’s part, to burn his teacher? Was this the only remedy available? Can it be that there was one Sage among us who left the path and we cannot save him? If we hold him by the hand, who will remove him from our protection; who? Rabbi Yoḥanan continued and said: When I die I will have the smoke extinguished from his grave, as a sign that he has been released from the sentence of Gehenna and brought to the World-to-Come. Indeed, when Rabbi Yoḥanan passed away, the smoke ceased to rise up from the grave of Aḥer. A certain eulogizer began his eulogy of Rabbi Yoḥanan with the following: Even the guard at the entrance could not stand before you, our rabbi. The guard at the entrance to Gehenna could not prevent Rabbi Yoḥanan from arranging the release of Aḥer.