More and Better Blessings

It is interesting to see how the blessings given from father to son develop in a certain trajectory over the course of the book of Bereshit/Genesis in the lives of the Avot/Patriarchs. The blessings are better and more abundant with each generation.

Abraham does not bless his son Isaac – in fact, the only recorded words they exchange are during the Akedah. Isaac does not return with Abraham from the Akedah (it states in Genesis 22:19 that “Abraham returned to his servants” – the absence of Isaac being quite notable – there are many midrashic explanations for why this is, but suffice it to say that they go their separate ways). Even when Abraham sends his servant to find a wife for Isaac, Abraham seems not to have told Isaac what was happening – the text states that “The servant told Isaac all the things he had done” (Gen. 24:66). It is also notable that, for the marriage, Isaac brings Rebecca into the tent of his mother Sarah – with no mention of Abraham. The rupture between father and son after Abraham attempted to murder his son Isaac – even though it was stopped by the angel – is complete.

When Abraham dies, the text states that “After the death of Abraham, G!d blessed his son Isaac” (Gen 25:11) – and the rabbinic commentators state that, although G!d gave Abraham the power to bless, he failed to bless Isaac, and therefore G!d has to give the blessing Abraham was supposed to have made, which is why the text refers to Isaac as “his son” in this verse. It should be noted that there is also no mention of Abraham blessing Ishmael or any of the children he had with Keturah, although he gives the latter gifts before sending them away (Gen 25:6).

Isaac has only one good blessing to give, with two sons. Esau is meant to get the blessing, but after Jacob sends him out to hunt some game to prepare for him, Rebecca engages in subterfuge by having Jacob prepare a goat and putting the skin of the goat on his arms to seem hairy like his brother. Some have argued that Isaac knows what was going on, since he even acknowledges that “the voice is the voice of Jacob, yet the hands are the hands of Esau” (Gen. 27:22). But regardless of whether or not he knows on some level that Jacob is getting the blessing meant for Esau, there is only one good blessing. The consolation prize blessing that Esau ends up with was not really much of a blessing. And similar to the rupture between Abraham and Isaac, there is a long-term rupture between Jacob and Esau. The text suggests that it is healed when Esau kisses Jacob long after their parents’ death and they weep together – but there is even midrash that suggests that he tries to bite Jacob and that it is not a true reconciliation (Gen 33:4).

Jacob has twelve sons and he has more than one good blessing to give – but he also uses the opportunity to chew some of the sons out for their past behavior from many years earlier. By my reading, four of the blessings are “bad blessings” (Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Issachar – four of Leah’s six children), five are “good blessings” (Judah and Zebulun from Leah’s sons, Joseph from Rachel’s sons, Naphtali from Bilhah’s sons, and Asher from Zilpah’s sons), while the remaining three I would regard as questions – not obviously good OR bad (Benjamin from Rachel’s sons, Dan from Bilhah’s sons, and Gad from Leah’s sons). (I would also note that Gad’s blessing is used in some versions [said three times!] of the Bedtime Shema as well as being recited after Shacharit as part of the prayer upon leaving the synagogue - and a line that may be part of Dan’s blessing or may be an interpolated utterance of praise immediately afterward [“For Thy salvation I wait, O Lord”] is also said both as part of the bedtime Shema [said three times each of three permutations of the three Hebrew words!!!] and by some both at the beginning and after the conclusion of Shacharit.) So, after no blessing for Isaac and one good blessing and one bad blessing for Isaac’s sons, we’ve moved to a situation where there are good and bad blessings (and perhaps even mixed blessing), but not limited by number, only by character of the sons receiving the blessing. I presented this teaching at an early morning Tikkun Leil Shavuot and someone mentioned in response that perhaps the bad blessings that Jacob gives his sons are instances of appropriate tochechah, or rebuke. To be sure, the sons receiving the bad blessings have done very bad things worthy of rebuke! But Jacob had ample opportunity to rebuke them prior to his deathbed blessings, and I still think that there should be good blessings for all of them at this point, even if there had been rebuke on other occasions. His lack of prior resolution of the relationships – similar to Abraham and Isaac’s relationship (if here caused by his sons and not by the father) is not a positive trait.

Finally, we move to Jacob’s blessing of his grandsons Ephraim and Manasseh. (To be sure, this happens just before the blessing of his twelve sons, but I believe that the blessing represents a generational shift along the trajectory of more and better blessings.) It is interesting that on Friday nights, Jewish parents give their daughters the expected blessing to be like the four recognized matriarchs, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah. (I am among those who believe the list should be expanded to include Bilhah and Zilpah, but that is for another time.) But rather than blessing their sons like the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the blessing is to be like Ephraim and Manasseh. The rabbis comment that this is the case because they are the first generation where the brothers get along with each other in peace. I wonder if this is the case because they are blessed with the same awesome blessing – a blessing that recalls the legacy of Abraham and Isaac:

 

The G!d before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac did walk, the G!d who hath been my shepherd all my life long unto this day, the angel who hath redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; and let my name be named in them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.

(Genesis 48:15-16)

 

I believe that this blessing is a tikkun, a repair, for the absence, stinginess, and vindictiveness of the blessings of the prior generations – by mentioning Abraham and Isaac and thanking G!d for G!d’s blessings upon his own life, he heals and repairs the harm of their blessings (or absence thereof) as well as the blessings he is about to give his own sons.

 

To be sure, he insists on putting the right hand on the younger son’s head and the left hand on the older son’s head, insisting (as has been the case throughout Genesis) that the younger will be greater than the older. I believe that, looking at the progression of blessings that happens through the generations, we are called by the G!d of blessing to make our own lives full of ever more abundant and better blessings to those with whom we come in contact and the earth and all of its creatures. We are called to make tikkun constantly, for our ancestors and for ourselves, as Jacob does in his blessing of Ephraim and Manasseh. And the first tikkun I would invite us to make is to stop seeing in those we bless as “greater” or “lesser”. My parents were raised in generation where the school systems tried to “correct” left-handedness and force left-handed children to learn to be right-handed – we see this bias in the English language with words from the Latin – “dexterity” comes from the word for “right-handed” and “sinister” comes from the word for “left-handed”. Now, children are allowed to write with the hand they prefer and the gifts of left-handed children are accepted. (I do applaud the Jewish tradition for allowing left-handed people to don tefillin on their right hand and arm, in an early recognition of the value of this diversity.) Maybe we can reframe the left and right hands being on their heads as saying that both the right-hand blessing and the left-hand blessing are equally valuable and necessary – and it is important for Ephraim and Manasseh to each receive the particular blessing that fits their personality – without making it a competition about who is greater and who is lesser. Perhaps, given how they get along in peace, they made this tikkun for themselves.

 

May our lives be full of berachot, of blessings, for ourselves, for others, for our world, and for G!d – may we be ever more open to G!d’s blessings for our lives and G!d’s requests for us to be channels of those blessings for others, and may we constantly make tikkun where it is needed. Amen.

Jacob and Esau in the Womb and at Birth

וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר יִצְחָ֤ק לַֽיהֹוָה֙ לְנֹ֣כַח אִשְׁתּ֔וֹ כִּ֥י עֲקָרָ֖ה הִ֑וא וַיֵּעָ֤תֶר לוֹ֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה וַתַּ֖הַר רִבְקָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ׃ And Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren; and the LORD let Himself be entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

וַיִּתְרֹֽצְצ֤וּ הַבָּנִים֙ בְּקִרְבָּ֔הּ וַתֹּ֣אמֶר אִם־כֵּ֔ן לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה אָנֹ֑כִי וַתֵּ֖לֶךְ לִדְרֹ֥שׁ אֶת־יְהֹוָֽה׃ And the children struggled together within her; and she said: ‘If it be so, wherefore do I live?’ And she went to inquire of the LORD.

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה לָ֗הּ שְׁנֵ֤י (גיים) [גוֹיִם֙] בְּבִטְנֵ֔ךְ וּשְׁנֵ֣י לְאֻמִּ֔ים מִמֵּעַ֖יִךְ יִפָּרֵ֑דוּ וּלְאֹם֙ מִלְאֹ֣ם יֶֽאֱמָ֔ץ וְרַ֖ב יַעֲבֹ֥ד צָעִֽיר׃ And the LORD said unto her: Two nations are in thy womb, And two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; And the one people shall be stronger than the other people; And the elder shall serve the younger.

וַיִּמְלְא֥וּ יָמֶ֖יהָ לָלֶ֑דֶת וְהִנֵּ֥ה תוֹמִ֖ם בְּבִטְנָֽהּ׃ And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.

וַיֵּצֵ֤א הָרִאשׁוֹן֙ אַדְמוֹנִ֔י כֻּלּ֖וֹ כְּאַדֶּ֣רֶת שֵׂעָ֑ר וַיִּקְרְא֥וּ שְׁמ֖וֹ עֵשָֽׂו׃ And the first came forth ruddy, all over like a hairy mantle; and they called his name Esau.

וְאַֽחֲרֵי־כֵ֞ן יָצָ֣א אָחִ֗יו וְיָד֤וֹ אֹחֶ֙זֶת֙ בַּעֲקֵ֣ב עֵשָׂ֔ו וַיִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ יַעֲקֹ֑ב וְיִצְחָ֛ק בֶּן־שִׁשִּׁ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה בְּלֶ֥דֶת אֹתָֽם׃ And after that came forth his brother, and his hand had hold on Esau’s heel; and his name was called Jacob. And Isaac was threescore years old when she bore them.

(Genesis 25:21-26)

I believe that Jacob and Esau were meant to be loving brothers and that the way they were treated by their parents, with each parent picking a favorite and with there being only one birthright and one decent blessing, had a negative effect on both of them, with Esau having the worse treatment and the worse effect on his life. I also believe that the story of their sojourn in the womb, G!d’s prophecy about them given to Rebecca, and their birth can be reframed in a way that is faithful to the text that can create a potential reality in which, rather than be bitter rivals, they could have become the closest of friends.

First, the verb used to describe their relationship in the womb, וַיִּתְרֹֽצְצ֤וּ, can be read a couple of ways. Ibn Ezra and others argue that the verb is related to the shoresh רוץ, “to run”, pointing to Nahum 2:5, where the verb is applied to lightning, meaning “running to and fro”. Read it this way, it can be seen as the two brothers playing by running to and fro (similar to my two kittens, who love to run back and forth across the room, scattering papers in their wake). Even read as “struggle” or “crush each other”, from the root רצץ, it can be seen as two brothers playfully wrestling with each other. Or perhaps they were struggling to grow – and rather than struggling with each other, each was struggling with himself in the process of growth. And in terms of crushing, perhaps it can be seen as being crushed from the lack of expansiveness, even in the womb, that Isaac and Rebecca were willing to give them, since Rebecca sees the struggle as a problem – had it been interpreted as playfulness, perhaps there would not have been crushing.

But what of G!d’s words about them? It says that one nation shall be stronger than the other – but it could also be read that one nation shall be strong and courageous FROM the other – that is, the two nations could make each other strong and courageous through friendship rather than competition. And the elder serving the younger? This could also be read as the greater serving the weaker – and “serve” could be read as joyful service and work, rather than a servile forced service. G!d’s words, had Isaac and Rebecca treated their sons differently, could have been lived out in a very different and more life-giving way. G!d answered Rebecca’s inquiry – but it was up to her and Isaac to determine HOW the words would come true – whether in a life-giving way, with the two brothers strengthening and encouraging one another in mutual service, or in a destructive way, each strengthening himself at the expense of the other and with one necessarily dominating the other.

Finally, Jacob came out of the womb holding Esau’s heel – and this was seen as Jacob trying to supplant Esau and to replace him as the firstborn. But what if, as loving twins, this could be seen as Jacob not wanting to be left alone in the womb, to be separated from his brother whom he loves, but instead wanting to remain together and grasping his heel as a sign of love? What if – instead of Jacob – Supplanter/Heel – he had been named Ohev – Lover – to show that his action was an act of love, not bitter rivalry?

I choose to read this story in a way that opens up unrealized possibilities – that Jacob and Esau had the potential to be loving brothers and not enemies – a potential finally realized when they reconcile and Esau kisses Jacob – that could have been realized much earlier. That is how I choose to read the text of Scripture, in ways that open up lifegiving possibilities if I wrestle with the text and demand a blessing.

Yitzchok/Isaac Loved Conditionally – Rivka/Rebecca Loves Unconditionally

 וַיֶּאֱהַ֥ב יִצְחָ֛ק אֶת־עֵשָׂ֖ו כִּי־צַ֣יִד בְּפִ֑יו וְרִבְקָ֖ה אֹהֶ֥בֶת אֶֽת־יַעֲקֹֽב׃

Now Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison; and Rebekah loved Jacob.

- Bereishit/Genesis 25:28

 

Something that strikes me about this psuk/verse is that Yitzchok/Isaac loved Esav conditionally – that is, a reason is given for his love of Esav – that he ate of the food Esav provided (literally, “Yitzchok loved Esav because the game was in his mouth”). There are various interesting rabbinic commentaries about what, exactly, this means – and I encourage you to check them out – but the main thing that jumps out at me is that Yitzchok does not love Esav unconditionally, because he is his son – rather, he loves him because of what Esav can do for Yitzchok.

 

In contrast, Rivka/Rebecca loves Yaacov/Jacob. No reason is given. No justification. She just loves him. Now, the rabbis come up with various reasons why she loves him – but these are additions to the text – no reason is given, in contrast to the reason given for Yitzchok’s love for Esav. The most interesting commentary to me comes from the Chizkuni (unsurprisingly – I often find his commentary very illuminating) – the verb used for Yitzchok is in the perfect, or past tense – because the love is conditional and will at times cease to exist. However, the love provided by Rivka is described in the kal participle, effectively the present tense – because it continues at all times. He does not quite make the leap to it being unconditional, but I think this makes sense as a reading of the psuk/verse.

 

I believe that the conditional love that Esav received from his father contributed to his path in life being very negative. He takes much longer to mature – when he sees how displeased that his father was with his choice of wives, so he marries a cousin, a daughter of Yishmael/Ishmael – just to please his parents, not out of love. Meanwhile, the unconditional love that Rivka generously gives Yaakov helps set him on a better path, being able to have a profound experience of prayer in his dream of the ladder to heaven with the angels, choosing a wife he loves, Rachel (we won’t get into his marriage to her sister Leah at this time), and wrestling with the man/angel/G!d who gave him his new name.

 

Of course, the fact that each parent had a favorite child set them up for conflict, and there was bitter rivalry that led Yaakov to trick first his brother and then his father to get the birthright and the good blessing – one wonders how different the story would have been if both sons were loved equally and if there were good blessings and birthrights for both of them. In the end, in Bereishit/Genesis 33:4, Esav is able to kiss his brother and they embrace (yes, I know of the midrash that assigns very negative motives to Esav for this – but I like the positive possibilities inherent in the pshat, or literal reading, of this verse.) And Bereishit/Genesis 36 gives a detailed genealogy of Esav’s descendants, which does not necessarily make sense given the broader context of the book and of the Torah – and there is rabbinic commentary that this perek/chapter contains some of the deepest Kabbalistic mysteries – which I see as making up for the lack of unconditional love from his parents.

 

I find that the family relationships in Bereshit/Genesis are so revelatory, and this set of relationships is no exception.

Ahavat Yisrael

Rabbi Shai Held asked on Facebook for brief answers to what this phrase conjures up and here is my answer:

Not the pshat - but the love of Yisrael, Yaakov renamed, for G!d who is willing to wrestle with G!d and demand a blessing. Only one with that ahavat Yisrael for Hashem can hear the words of the Shema addressed to those who wrestle with G!d. And the more conventional ahavat Yisrael is love for others who wrestle similarly, forging a community to wrestle with Hashem and the Torah and how best to create the community of Israel.